Monday, June 4, 2012

U-turns.


Wow it's been a while since  I wrote on this blog.
But I have been writing. I swear.
Actually at the time I stopped writing the blog, I started to write a screenplay believe it or not. It felt so right and so good.
The first draft is done. I finished it fast because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.
I was riding the wave of writing for month. I wrote monologues, scenes after scenes, I wrote my morning pages every day. I even wrote, produce and play in a short film '' Scratch''.
I felt such happiness.
Then suddenly everything stopped. The need and want to write so frenetically stopped.
I tried to write but I couldn't. I couldn't find an explanation. It lasted for months. I missed it but I couldn't do it. Some forces were holding me down.
Did I felt content? did I needed time to digest that I had open the door to a new world? Was I scared not to be able to repeat the experience? maybe it was just another of my caprice. How many things did I tried in my life, really!! how many did I start and never finished. I lost the count.
Or Maybe the universe was sending me a message or helping me to just take a break.
Breaks are needed, they are healthy.
This morning, something happened inside of me. I felt I had to go back, but in a softer way.
I understood that I shouldn't feel guilty, I didn't waste my time, I just took my time.
So I' m back to my writing one day at the time, Starting today, one page at the time.
While I was writing  this morning, I recognized that familiar feeling. It feels good, it feels right.
What's important right now is the NOW.
I'm back on my second draft full time with the help of a dear friend who is also a writer.
I don't have to rush it, I just have to do it. And it would take as long as it take, as long as I feel happy.

'' In dealings with our creative U-turns, we must first of all extend ourselves some sympathy. Creativity is scary, and in all careers there are U-turns. Sometimes these U-turns are best viewed as recycling times. We come up to a  creative jump, run out from it like a skittish horse, then circle the field a few times before trying the fence again'' ( The artist's way)